Glossary

Note: This is a holdover from the stay-at-home dad blog days. I’m leaving it up for now just for laughs.

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General abbrieves and dadisms:

Abbrieves:

Abbreviations.

the Babystore:

Babies “R” Us. Usually not a fun place to be.

Chore-doing:

The performing of household tasks. Note: There is no finite ending to said tasks.

Chore-jobs:

Chores, jobs. It’s all work around the house and/or yard that needs to be done…by you. Also- various work performed that may lead to your demise.

CYA:

Cover Your Arse. Someone appears to be helping you, but actually their actions are self-serving and self-protective, thus they are practicing a ninja CYA move.

Dadisms:

Something a dad would say or come up with.

Dadmom:

A stay-at-home dad who does all of the chores; a dad whose position reflects gender role-reversal in the household.

Dadutainment:

Can TV and movies teach us anything about parenting? Dadutainment takes on stories from all forms of media to see what pop culture has to say.

Deese:

A truly malevolent children’s snack. Originally made by the Dark Lord Sauron during the Second Age, this snack was made in order to gain dominion over the free peoples of Middle-earth. There are only two things that can destroy Deese: the stomach of a three-year-old, or the fires of Mount Doom.

the Doctor:

Time Lord; the main character in the long running BBC science fiction series Dr. Who.

Exhaustion Walk-Off:

Verbal competition, where the winner is the one who proves they work the hardest. Derived from a scene from the movie Zoolander.

Fam:

Short for family. Because yes, I’m that cool.

Fight Club:

I am Joe’s Pretentious Literary Reference.

Flame War:

A flame war is a heated argument between two individuals, that results in those involved posting personal attacks on each other during or instead of debating the topic at hand.
Source: urbandictionary.com

Fusstrain to Clarksville:

Tantrum performed by a preschooler. Usually leads to a terrifying battle of some kind.

Gotiable:

The opposite of non-negotiable. As in: “This is non-negotiable.” Response: “You’re gotiable!”

Guys Tent:

The place where Piper puts all of her lovies and stuffed animals. It’s getting a little crowded in Guys Tent these days. They are currently starting a petition to see if they can compel us to make some kind of Guys Annex. So far, they don’t have enough signatures- the Yo Gabba Gabba crew are holding out on them.

the Hyper Monster:

A super-fast machine of utter destruction. Also, your average three year old human child.

Just For The Lulz:

Beginning as a plural variant of lol, Lulz was originally an exclamation but is now often used as a noun meaning interesting or funny internet content.
Lol -> lul; lols -> luls; lolz -> lulz.

Lulz is the one good reason to do anything. After every action taken, you must make the epilogic dubious disclaimer: “I did it for the lulz”.
Source: urbandictionary.com

Kidspiracy:

Kids have their own rules, which involve not letting adults talk on the phone, or to each other, or relax to any music. The kids are very organized about their rules. It’s a little scary.

Mancave:

A place where the man of the house can do his thing. In days of yore, this was referred to as a den. Sometimes mancaves are dedicated separate rooms, sometimes they are built into the garage.

Never Too Old:

This category sets out to prove that life doesn’t end at 30, or 40 for that matter.

the Piper Express:

Piper’s train. Mr. Conductor is always on hand to keep things running smoothly. The Piper Express is very popular with the denizens of Guys Tent.

Potty-ness:

The interest (or lack thereof) a child has in using the potty. Used as a barometer of potential potty training completion.

Rhythm Train:

A trio of famous musicians and comedians who made an album of children’s music of the same name. The group is comprised of Dick Van Dyke, drummer Chad Smith, and singer Leslie Bixler. The album was released in April 2010. A follow-up album is anticipated sometime in the near future.

Silly Business:

How much trouble can a three-year-old get into? This category tries to find out by featuring a certain three-year-old’s shenanigans and creative endeavors.

South-By:

What hipsters call South-By-Southwest, or SXSW. The annual music conference held in Austin, Texas.

Storp It:

“Storp it” is one click more extreme than “stop it.” For instance, if a child was… let’s say, kicking you in the face, you would say, “Hey! Storp it!”

Thrill Of One’s Time:

Having the time of one’s life.

Time-Window:

Opportunity for chore-doing. Time-windows last for varying amounts of time. Check with your “boss” for time-window availabilities.

Toxoplasmosis:

This is the big excuse why pregnant women can’t clean the catbox. This is one of the oldest scams going around.

Troll:

The troll’s main purpose is simply to scour the net and find ways to get a rise out of people. All they really do is complain and exhibit negative behavior, as publicly as possible. In short, they’re people who are just looking for trouble.

Truth Explosion:

Sudden realization about a cosmic accordance with fact. More properly called an epiphany.

What Not To Do:

This category features various news reports of bad parenting from around the globe.

Whedonite:

Huge fan of the works of Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Dollhouse, Firefly, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-A-Long Blog and more.

The White Unicorn:

Piper’s new restaurant. Zagat’s review is pending.